Attention seeking? Damn right!

So what does a girl have to do to drag her husband's attention away from his beloved Xbox 360?

Seriously, I'm desperate...

So I've written a list of things I could try to get back into my husband's affections:

1. Cook him his favourite meal every night for a week
2. Write him a love song and serenade him from the back garden
3. Buy a silky neglige and captivate him with a dance
4. Write him poetry about my love for him
5. Have a dozen red roses delivered for his attention
6. Bribe him with wine and chocolates
7. Persuade him to help me clear out the spare room
8. Offer him a relaxing back massage

Having thought about it, this is why those things won't work:

1. Cooking and eating a meal only takes up a certain amount of time - he'd be back on the XBox within seconds of downing his cutlery...
2. The neighbours would have me committed... that is, if I were brave enough to set foot in the back garden after the gardening and cat chasing debacles...
3. I can't dance... he'd probably end up dialling the emergency services and telling them his wife was having some kind of satin-clad fit. 'nough said.
4. I'm rubbish at love poetry. Purple Ronnie style ditties I can do. Anything else, forget it.
5. He would merely bring the roses into the lounge, whereby he'd set them up in some kind of 'undergrowth' way and use them to 'set the scene' for his next game...
6. He'd still play the flippin' game and I'd end up squiffy and a few pounds heavier...
7. Ha! That is all.
8. No can do. My hands are still bruised from the pruning of aforementioned back garden.

OK, so now I'm really desperate! Your advice ladies?

I guess if all else fails I could chuck the *&$%ing contoller out of the front door under the speeding wheels of a conveniently passing vehicle?

Mwah ha ha ha!

Drippy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day 2010, the most romantic day of the year. Hubs and I have a low-budget day planned (having already spent a small fortune on ingredients and wine for our special meal!) and everything's going according to plan.

The angels of love surround our little home like a swarm of wasps - only much more friendly and a lot less stingy.

Then we discover our boiler is leaking. And I don't mean a gentle drip, drip, drip to act as percussion to the music of love... oh no! I'm talking a miniature Niagara Falls leaking. Now, to many that may conjure up romantic images of sight-seeing, arm in arm, gazing lovingly first into one another's eyes then out into the glorious misty furore that is the Falls...

No, not in this case.

In this case it's a beautiful scene involving a badly (done before we owned the house) boxed in boiler, leaking from place unknown on the underside, with crappy washing up bowl (already seen better days, but hey, it's for washing up in right?) perched precariously underneath to catch the roaring torrent.

Surely plumbers will be available today? Surely they'll be falling over themselves to come out on, not only a Sunday, but Valentine's Day? Wouldn't they be clammering to arrive here first to charge us a call out fee, plus a Sunday fee and Valentine's fee on top?

Nope. Can't get a plumber to come fix it! Not for love nor money (surely for love on today of all days?).

So, our special day is somewhat thwarted by the fact that we have to be around every two hours to empty the emergency basin for fear of further flooding.

Still, at least we won't need mood music during our lovely meal... the sound of running water will help us imagine we're in more glamorous climes, eating in the shadow of the great Falls...


All we need now is a couple of those fetching hooded waterproof jobs and we're the picture of love and romance!

Happy Drippy Valentine's Day darling!