Thursday, 25 February 2010

Dear boiler...

Dear boiler,

You disappoint me.

I know we haven't known each other for long, and that I've been slightly sneering about your position in life (or perhaps just your position in my kitchen), but I've come to depend on you, on your warmth and your undoubted skill to get things boiling around here.

You let me down last week and now my confidence in your commitment to me and this house is dented.

Perhaps I didn't pay you enough attention? Perhaps I didn't listen to you enough? Is that why your tears began to fall? Is that why you flooded my kitchen floor? Simply for attention?

Well how do you think that makes me feel? We had a good thing going there and if you'd only spoken up earlier I might have been able to work something out. Instead, you keep your peace until it's too late for either of us stop the impending doom.

Your heart is broken, I'm told. Well, not your heart so much as some space ship looking part of your workings that the plumber unceremoniously removed from within - brassy in colour and slightly covered in limescale. Whatever, a piece has clean sheared off, causing you to spill your innards to anyone and everyone who happens to be passing.

I'm sorry you're hurt and I arranged for someone to come fix you as soon as I realised there was someone wrong, but the fact still remains, you ruined my Valentine's Day. And for that, I'm not sure I can forgive you. But I'll have to try.

You see, time with my hubs is so very precious to me and, without giving anyone else a second thought, you chose that incredibly special day - that one day out of the whole calendar - to have your breakdown, turn cold on me and demand my attention.

But one thing I've learned from this whole messy (and surprisingly wet) debacle is that I, we, take you and your position in the household, for granted. Indeed, perhaps me and my entire race take you and your kind for granted as a whole. But who can blame us when, in our greatest need of warmth and comfort, you seem to laugh in our faces and withdraw your services.

Well, you got my attention with your incessent dripping and I only hope you're feeling better now. I can only assume you do feel better as you just sit smugly in your corner and hum gloatingly at me while you go about your business, caring not about the love, attention and money I've lavished on you in recent days.

You've drained me recently and I just hope that we can get back to normal now, function properly between us. I promise to pay more attention to your needs and stop taking your talents for granted.

Let's be friends again. Together we can wrap this household in love, warmth and hot water... What do you say?

Yours in domestic harmony,

PMB


This post is my first attempt at Sleep is for the Weak's Writing Workshop - head on over if you fancy joining in, it's muchos fun!

Thanks for reading my inane ramblings once again!

Comments (24)

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I hope you can work your relationship difficulties out. The plumber was a good option for mediation, but your boiler sounds needy and high maintenance. Good luck with it:) Jen.
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
I think we're almost there. We're on the road to recovery, I think we just need to respect each other a little more. Thanks for the support...
Funny and brilliantly written. I don't think I could ever come up with something so creative regarding a boiler!
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
Why thank you! I bet you could if you had a boiler like mine ;-)

Really enjoyed this, my first foray into the world of Writing Workshop!
This is brilliant! Made ma laugh out loud - I have a similar relationship with my oven (WHOLE other post) - another high maintenance and sensitive appliance. Maybe they could be friends?

Thanks for taking part!!
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
Perhaps we should start up a matchmaking agency for household appliances!

And thanks for the comments... I've been reading and commenting other posts this morning. Just love the workshop!
ha ha, great letter! I hope he doesn't let you down again any time soon!
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Oh he better not... and I love the fact that you assumed my boiler is a he... he is, of course, otherwise he wouldn't have broken down on such an inconsiderate day! ;-)
Fab letter, I hope that you and boiler have made up again and are best pals. xx
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
I wouldn't go so far as to say we're best pals, but our relationship is certainly better than it was! Thanks for reading x
I love this, it's brilliant. You've got me thinking, there are plenty of things in my house that need a stiff letter...
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
It's amazing how much better it made me feel! Go for it, you never know, something in your house might listen! ;-)
:) Very funny and lovely to read. I do hope the boiler behaves itself form now on!
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
It does seem to be. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
Ha Ha...I hope your relationship improves!
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
Thanks... I'm working hard to like the boiler... it's difficult.

Thank you for stopping by!
LOL! I hope you can work things out!
YoungMummy's avatar

YoungMummy · 788 weeks ago

Seems we've both been getting the 'cold shoulder' this week! Glad your relationship is on the mend, and you're feeling warm and fuzzy again. x
1 reply · active 788 weeks ago
Boilers! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em!

Thanks for popping by to read my random (if fun to write) blog post!
UGH! There is just nothing worse than when the boiler goes out! We usually find out when we get up and there is no hot water for the shower. No fun!
Bin it - it's not worth the hassle. Find a new boiler which understands your needs.
1 reply · active 787 weeks ago
Ha ha, I like your thinking (shhh, don't tell my boiler I said that). But alas, my bank account forbids me (Damn my bank account... another post altogether!) from taking such drastic steps!
Very funny.thanks to you for writing such a nice articles.
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