Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Attention seeking? Damn right!

So what does a girl have to do to drag her husband's attention away from his beloved Xbox 360?

Seriously, I'm desperate...

So I've written a list of things I could try to get back into my husband's affections:

  1. Cook him his favourite meal every night for a week
  2. Write him a love song and serenade him from the back garden
  3. Buy a silky neglige and captivate him with a dance
  4. Write him poetry about my love for him
  5. Have a dozen red roses delivered for his attention
  6. Bribe him with wine and chocolates
  7. Persuade him to help me clear out the spare room
  8. Offer him a relaxing back massage
Having thought about it, this is why those things won't work:
  1. Cooking and eating a meal only takes up a certain amount of time - he'd be back on the XBox within seconds of downing his cutlery...
  2. The neighbours would have me committed... that is, if I were brave enough to set foot in the back garden after the gardening and cat chasing debacles...
  3. I can't dance... he'd probably end up dialling the emergency services and telling them his wife was having some kind of satin-clad fit. 'nough said.
  4. I'm rubbish at love poetry. Purple Ronnie style ditties I can do. Anything else, forget it.
  5. He would merely bring the roses into the lounge, whereby he'd set them up in some kind of 'undergrowth' way and use them to 'set the scene' for his next game...
  6. He'd still play the flippin' game and I'd end up squiffy and a few pounds heavier...
  7. Ha! That is all.
  8. No can do. My hands are still bruised from the pruning of aforementioned back garden.
OK, so now I'm really desperate! Your advice ladies?

I guess if all else fails I could chuck the *&$%ing contoller out of the front door under the speeding wheels of a conveniently passing vehicle?

Mwah ha ha ha!