Thursday, 11 March 2010

What is that feeling?

Pressure.

The feeling of dread that I'm not doing enough.

The feeling of inadequacy that the words won't flow.

Am I disappointing the people who have taken the time to follow, to read my ramblings?

I started this blog to post regularly and join in wholeheartedly with the exciting and gripping world that is blogging.

Recently life has got in the way.

And now I feel pressure.

Every morning I wake wondering whether I'll have the time, let alone the inspiration, to post another post.

Every night I go to bed, exhausted and disappointed with myself that I haven't found the words to express a little part of my life.

I even thought I didn't have anything to write about today - but then I realised the pressure I was putting on myself. A pressure that's bearing down and squashing any ideas, thoughts and dreams I might be able to put into words.

Pressure which is stunting my creativity.

Pressure that is entirely created by me - I only have myself to blame.

Pressure which, I'm sure, is entirely unnecessary.

I must relieve the pressure on myself.

Then the words will come.


This is my latest post for Sleep is for the Weak's Writing Workshop. I chose prompt number five: What is making you feel under pressure right now?

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Comments (16)

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Hi there! Oooooh I know this pressure so well. You'd think being a writer with long career throwing words together I'd be over it...but you know what...I'm not. Your blog is gorgeous! Wish I'd started out blogging as you have! I think one of the hardest things about blogging is learning to just let yourself go...let the words flow out..don't be afraid to share a little of yourself (as you have done here). Forget about who's reading, or counting your readers, or whether it's good grammatical English, or resonates...

....and keep going.

Big hugs of encouragement to you!! x
1 reply · active 786 weeks ago
Awww, thank you so much! I'm glad it's appreciated and I do try to keep pouring a little of myself out at least a couple of times a week. I guess I'll just have to stop being so hard on myself and let it flow!

Thanks for the hugs! Much apprecaited! x
I can sympathise... I work pretty much full time and run a household with two small children, which leaves very little time for me to really "go for it". I keep trying to tell convince myself of the mantra of Quality, not Quantity - although I guess that brings with it a different types of pressure. The truth is that we all make ourselves mad about things that are sometimes completely unnecessary - it seems to be a part of the human condition.

Please take these as words of encouragement - I love your blog, just keep going and being yourself. x
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
It's so difficult isn't it!? And so many times I find myself sitting trying to write a blog post instead of actually getting on with the work that pays! But this is so much more fun than writing about smoke hatches and sports equipment!!

Thank you so much for your kind words! x
This is the first time I've visited but I'll come back again, this post is so similar to the way I feel (and very well put)... do you think it's unqiue to all us mummies / bloggers / mummy bloggers or is the whole world feeling their own self-imposed pressure? I look around me and see everyone else far more relaxed, but perhaps inside their just the same as you and me...
1 reply · active 786 weeks ago
I know exactly what you mean! But I think everyone else probably looks at us and wonders how we can seem so 'together'! It's all about perceptions and how we deal with pressure. My husband takes the brunt so I'm totally level headed with everyone else! That's life I guess...
Very interesting read. Blogging can be pressurised especially if we're trying to keep up with every one else. But I think I've learnt that it doesn't matter if I don't keep up. Some people you just can't keep up with because they are so prolific. We all have a life outside of blogging, for some it is more interesting. For others they feel blogging is their only way to move forward, they are usually the people who have no children and little responsibility in their lives.

CJ xx
1 reply · active 786 weeks ago
So true! I love blogging but it's not the be all and end all... x
I feel a bit 'dried up' at the moment myself. When I am in the 'zone' I write several posts and then use them when I am 'dried up'. Ack, I sound like a prune, but yeah, I hear you. I try not to go into the comparing myself to others and I only post twice a week or else I would really be putting myself under pressure. I love your blog, it is warm, funny, gentle and insightful. You do share a lot of yourself too and it makes it such a joy to read, so personable. Hang tight, we will be waiting for you:) Jen.
1 reply · active 786 weeks ago
Aww, thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't posting every day! I just get so much out of reading other people's blogs but sometimes I just don't have the time to read or write. When I'm in the zone I can write a few posts in one go but sometimes I struggle with just one! Anyway, thanks for commenting x
Very well put. Great post. We are the creators of our own stresses so often. We imagine all the wonderful things we can, should & want to do and then get cross with ourselves when we don't manage it all.

Be kind to yourself. And we all recognise low patches in blogging whether due to "drying up" or real life getting in the way.

MD x
1 reply · active 786 weeks ago
Thanks MD, but my post really does pale next to yours. Left you a comment because it moved me so much.

but it's nice to know that I'm not alone in the blogging pressure stakes! Love your blog x
I have had exactly the same thing going on this week. Wish I could think my thoughts onto the page as they are in my head but just no time to get them down and posted. You are one up on me as I didn't finish my writing workshop post and am very disappointed - Oh well I'll try again next week. Don't worry about how much as when you do post it's always worth it.
1 reply · active 786 weeks ago
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. I must admit I was pushing the limits on this one... thought I was lacking any inspiration at all for any of the posts then I realised it was the pressure that waskeeping me down!

Thanks for the kind words about my blog too - very sweet...
As you know this is something I struggle with too. A LOT.

I'm beginning to realise, though, that pushing too hard is really counter productive. If it's not coming easily, if it feels too hard and like too much pressure, you have to pull back a bit. Take a day off, a week off, whatever you need and then come back to it. I get weeks like this, where I don't post much and inevitably they are followed by weeks when I'm bursting with new ideas and creative energy. You have to let it happen naturally I think, in ebbs and flows.

More than anything you NEED TO KEEP THE FUN. If it feels like a chore something has to change.

xx
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
You're absolutely right. I'm going to try and put less pressure on myself and just enjoy blogging as and when I find the time and the inspiration! Thanks for the kind words though xx

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